Three, six, nine The goose drank wine The monkey chewed tobacco On the streetcar line The line broke The monkey got choked And they all went to Heaven In a little row boat. Clap, Pat, Clap Pat…Shirley Ellis

I had an online fish on the line for a couple of weeks but the short of it is, is that the fella wrote nice emails, had a nice voice on the telephone but the line broke when he took me to a buffet for our first day.

This is not the best place for steaming a plate full of romantic interest when the ambiance is smothered with gravy, grits and a passel of folks who are just concerned about how much they can pack into their gizzards for $9.99. I even broke down and told him I was a senior citizen so that he could get a discount on the tab. Who makes up this stuff?

I just couldn’t warm up to him over my plastic glass of water and trying to figure out what line to get in with regard to the one-hundred and fifty-nine food choices. What kind of a guy takes a gal to the buffet? I don’t even eat at the buffet at Mexico travel destinations.

It’s fine if you are ordering an omelet for breakfast but the rest of the meal choices are just that, choices. There are so many choices and I am a decision maker. So for $7.99 I chose the salad, seafood and seven glasses of water. Small talk after packing in as much as he could had my eyeballs swimming and looking for the nearest toilet. I struggle with going to the bathroom with strange men sitting across the table from me.

 I wanted to tell him that the dining choice was a poor choice but letting him break the line from his end was to be my intent. If he can’t figure it out, I am certainly not going to tell him that I did not get dressed up in my Victoria Secret underwear, bra, camisole and red “whorerendous” boots to spend an hour at the buffet. I even had to make up a new word to describe my whore outfit to someone who probably appreciates no underwear and sweatpants.

Waiter: And for you sir?
Homer: All you can eat! All you can eat!
Waiter: Now, when you’re ready take this plate up and…
Homer: [already at buffet taking out a steam tray]
Employee at restaurant: [panicking] No sir! Don’t take the steam tray!

The Simpsons